Thursday, April 5, 2018

The 4 AM Pee-pee

Prior to being a consultant, the times I had to get up to walk a dog for no other reason than to pee at 4 AM were rare.

I lived in a house. I had a huge, fenced back yard. I had a doggie door which was open unless it was raining or the neighborhood wildlife was particularly active on a given night. The dogs took care of themselves. I would hear the doggie door flap and think nothing of it if until barking happened.

Living a life on the road, I do everything I can to avoid the 4 AM pee-pee dance.

Avoiding 4 AM

When I was younger, 4 AM wasn't a big deal. Sleep wasn't a necessity. I managed nicely on an hour or two some days. These days, being older, I rather like sleep.

My goal, to avoid most witching hour potty breaks, is to take the dogs out right before bed. If I can get them to do all of their business between 10-11 PM, usually the 3 or 4 AM pee pees won't happen.

Lily did go through a phase where she would get up at 3:30 AM on the dot, almost every day and need to go pee regardless of the fact that she went pee before we went to bed. She was about 2 years old then. It's not an uncommon thing, but I would get up and let her out into the back yard and wait for her to come back inside.

After that phase though, we've been pretty good about sleeping through the night unless they were sick.

The Pee Pee Dance

It starts with a wet nose to the face. Often very wide, bright eyes that you can see in the dark staring at you, pulling you out of your comfortable slumber. (It's always a comfortable one, never a fitful sleep, or one where you are mostly awake already.) Lots of moving around when otherwise I would hear only snores or farts from different parts of the hotel room or apartment. Curtains rustle. Then comes the jumping on and off the bed.

I'm awake at this point. I know something is up. I've had this happen enough that I can read the signs of discomfort on dog faces.

I get dressed, and harness up very patient pups. (OH yes, if one dog has to go, the other dog usually decides that they have to go as well. It's a rare night if I only have to manage one of them because the other went back to sleep.)

I give Lily the quiet signal. She's usually quiet this early in the morning, but a reminder is helpful. As a talker/barker with no volume control, I can only imagine the complaints if we walked down the hall during the middle of the night and she decides to have a conversation.

I head us strait for the nearest staircase and we all take it at our usual pace, which is mostly too fast and at a speed I'm entirely not awake enough be able to manage.

The tricky part is paying attention to your surroundings at 4 AM. Feral cats,  squirrels,  other dogs, and deer could all be a factor in whether or not you lose two dogs on an early morning walk.

If we are out in a rural area, unless I have fence handy, I don't let my dogs outside. Coyotes are a factor as well, along with other nocturnal creatures. (Sometimes it's half the reason they are awake. It's not to pee, but to chase something.)

In the city, they are on a leash and it's safe for the most part. I do have the occasional time or two they see something and want to chase it, but I've managed to bring them back around to the point by hanging onto the leashes for dear life and walking the opposite direction.

Post Pee

Heading back to bed is slightly futile after all of this commotion. I'm usually wide awake, though tired. Sometimes I manage it, but mostly, I end up writing a bit or making coffee.  The doggo's go back to bed just fine. Mild jealousy of the all too adorable snoring starts setting in and then I chuckle to myself and pour another cup.

This early morning excursion doesn't get me out of the 7:30 AM walk either. They will wake up again, and I'll be more awake the second time around, but coherent thought might be difficult.

Lily Post Pee




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